I follow the “never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you can see a baby coming out of her vagina” philosophy in life. Needless to say, I have never asked a woman if she is pregnant! But it seems that not everyone follows such strict standards as I do. If you have ever been pregnant, you will have heard it all from strangers but these are the things that top my list of things not to say to a pregnant woman.
Labour horror stories
Before I fell pregnant with my first daughter, no one had ever shared their labour story with me, good or bad. All I had heard were positive things about having kids. And then BAM! All of a sudden, strangers were sharing their stories of awful pregnancy ailments or labour horror stories with me. Because, you know, their experience would directly correlate to my experience because all pregnancies and labours are the same, not. Whether you know someone or not, sharing a labour horror story with a pregnant woman, especially a first time mum, is probably not the best idea!
Hands off the bump
Sometimes it’s not what you say but what you do. And strangers putting their hands on my bump is totally not cool. I don’t like being touched by strangers at anytime, let alone when their hands start encroaching into your personal space to rub your precious bump. No, no no!
Dire future predictions
It goes without saying that parenthood is going to come as a shock. A mum-to-be is fully aware that her sleep will be all but a distant memory for awhile after baby arrives. She also knows that she is in for a steep learning curve as she has to decipher the cries of her baby and navigate feeding, routines and all the rest that comes with having a baby.
But at the end of the day, every baby is different. Personally, I had a baby who slept like a dream as a newborn. So I ended up spending a lot of my time waiting for the completely sleepless nights I had been warned of. So much unnecessary anxiety for something that didn’t happen. Well, they eventually arrived eight months in, but that is a whole other story!
“Are you sure you don’t have two babies in there?”
“It looks to me like you are having a boy not a girl, you should check with your Dr.”
“You can eat whatever you like, we never had to worry about any of those silly things when I had kids and mine turned out just fine.”
“You haven’t dropped yet, you’ve still got a couple of weeks before you have that baby.”
“Will you be able to deliver naturally, your hips don’t look wide enough.”
Shall I go on? If you aren’t a Dr, there is no need to share your medical opinion.
We are all curious beings by nature, but there is something about pregnancy that makes people feel like they can just ask whatever they like! Anything from the gender of your baby, why you didn’t find out the gender of your baby, how you plan to deliver, if you will be breastfeeding or not, and so many other quite personal questions. I wouldn’t even ask my best friend some of the things I have been asked by a stranger! All the questions top my list of things not to say to a pregnant woman.
So what should you say to a pregnant woman?
“You are glowing.”
“Motherhood is the most amazing thing you will ever experience.”
Or perhaps just smile, a positive word of encouragement or even some words of empowerment.
What is the craziest thing a stranger said to you while you were pregnant? if you are the partner of a pregnant woman, here are some tips on what not to say to her!
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