Today’s real mama is Jennah, a stay at home mum of two and FIFO wife. When I read Jennah’s story I thought it was one that would resonate with so many other mums who are facing the same dilemma: how to redefine yourself after your babies start school…
I am a FIFO wife. Mum of two under four and stay at home Mum. I am not a “single parent half the time”, nor is the Father of my children a part time Dad. We have a wonderful family with structure routine and a whole lot of love. I only say this because at times this is what I hear. A lifestyle that works well for us at this time in our lives and let’s be honest, pays the bills while I’m off work. I’ve been at home with my babies now for four years and I find myself thinking – I should be studying or creating or gardening. But I just cant seem to find what that special thing I want to do is. My goal, when I first went on leave was to write a novel. Adult fiction, and something I’ve always wanted to do but that just hasn’t happened.
I find for me, when the kids go to sleep, I just need me time. As lazy as it sounds, I want nothing more than to sit down and ponder over things that will leave my mind mellow (was the dress gold or blue?). With Hubby being away a lot of the time I feel a little strained and find myself turning off the tv when I’m alone so I can sit in silence and hear nothing but the sound of my keyboard tapping away. I don’t know, perhaps this is with all Mums, or none (awkward). But the hardest thing for me to come to terms with (when becoming a Mum) was that taken for granted freedom that allows us to “pop up to the shops” and return in 10 minutes or have a quick shower or …dare I say it but…. poo without an audience.
But gosh… I’m not complaining and I hope you can relate. I say this because I am now facing a different crisis. My eldest daughter is turning 4 and will soon be starting school. My son is only 17 months behind her, and although I have succeeded in convincing hubby to try for another (te he) I’m left thinking what will I do when all my babies are at school? This moment in life which can feel so long at times with young kids now seems to be flashing by me too quickly. I guess it comes in stages, my littlies will keep me occupied for some years to come but these first years, the ones where you experience so many firsts like kissing your child’s head when they first arrive or getting excited because you can’t wait to see what colour their eyes will be, the first word. Just brings so many emotions, I’m not sure how I will fare when my kids become independent.
For now however… I will continue to plan the new chicken house in detail with my babies. Paint pet rocks we find on our walks and continue to plan our days according to these two crazy, loveable little souls that I have. Even if it means locking myself in my bathroom every now and then. Because as the saying goes, ‘the days are long but the years are quick’.
Have you been in Jennah’s position? What did you do?
Each Thursday I will bring you a real mama who is sharing her story. Whether you are a single mum, a grandmother, a mum of many or a mum to one, a mum-to-be, a step mum, a working mum or a stay at home mum, and you want to share your story about a particular motherhood journey or experience you have had then please get in touch at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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