There are some things about parenting that, no matter how much you prepare for them, you will never ever be prepared. Changing nappies is one of those things. It takes awhile to master the talent of putting on a nappy correctly. Too loose and you are faced with serious leakage issues, too tight and you are faced with a seriously cranky baby.

So while nothing will prepare you for the joy that is nappy change time, or maybe a walk down memory lane for the more experienced parents, here is a quick guide to nappy sizes and what they really mean. This is real people!

Newborn/Infant AKA “How can that much poo come from such a tiny person?”

This is the stage when you learn that there are some poos that no nappy can contain. Poo-splosion, poo-nami, number three or whatever you call them, will strike frequently and with a vengeance. It is the law of poo-splosions that as soon as you dress baby in a new outfit, a poo-splosion will soon follow. Always make sure you have an adequate supply of nappies on hand at all times, and by adequate I mean as many as you think you will need x 3.

Crawler AKA “What the hell did we feed her?”

By the time you have moved into crawler nappies you will also have started baby on solids and you enter the truly stinky nappy phase as baby adjusts to real food. Poo goes from a stinky but bearable phase to “holy cow I think I’m going to throw up” off the chart stinky. With each new food you introduce you will dread the resulting nappies!

Toddler/Walker AKA “If they can walk, they can run”

I am currently at this stage now. If they can walk, they can run, and they will run every time you try and change their nappy. They will also roll around on the changing table and attempt to stand up mid nappy change, leaving you in a mad rush to wipe that bottom before you are faced with a much larger cleaning predicament. This is probably a good time to switch to nappy pants.

Junior AKA “The finish line is in sight”

Congratulations! You are nearly there! All those many, many nappy changes will soon be a distant memory and you will be moving on to the toilet training stage. I was recently given a tip from a friend re toilet training – always carry disposable gloves with you while you are out and about as you never know what you might have to deal with…

And my final word on all things changing nappies? Never attempt to wipe your hair from your face while changing a nappy. There is a good chance that you may have poo on your knuckles…

Are your kids still in nappies? What tips do you have for new parents for changing nappies?


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