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Babies, Blog, Mum Life

When mothers group doesn’t live up to expectations

We all know someone who is still friends with her mothers group many years after they first met. They have all been there for each other through the early years, life changes and all the ups and downs. True friendships that last the test of time.

But what happens when you join a mothers group, expecting to make lifelong friends and the connection just isn’t there? At a time when you so desperately need it, you find your mothers group falls miserably short of your expectations.

If you are one of these mums feeling like you are missing out on a wonderful life experience, let me start by telling you that you aren’t. You may not have found your mummy tribe at mothers group but they are out there and you will find them. Here is what I suggest if your mothers group doesn’t live up to expectations.

Scan the group

In any situation, when you throw 15 people in a room together, let alone exhausted and hormonal new mums, the chances of each and every one of those people getting on and forming lifetime friendships is pretty slim. But perhaps there are 1 or 2 or even 5 other mums that you get along really well with. Invite them out for coffee or a play at the park and see what happens. You can still go along to larger group gatherings if you like but focus on the genuine friendships you have found rather than trying to get along with everyone. That’s just too exhausting!

Join a playgroup

A mothers group is often organised through your hospital or early childhood nurse and you only get one shot at it. Playgroups on the other hand give you the chance to pop in and see if they are for you. Playgroup Australia is a great place to start. You can search for playgroups in your local area and head along to a few to test them out. See if you get along with the other parents and if the other kids are a similar age to yours. Some will involve structured play activities for the kids while others will be more relaxed. My playgroup now meets at a different park each week. The kids run around and it gives us mums a chance to chat. Every group is different and the beauty is that you can move to a new one if you aren’t happy.

Find an online mothers group

Jump into Facebook and I am confident you will be able to find a group of mums local to your area. In Sydney alone I am aware of Inner West Mums, North Shore Mums and Hills District Mums among many others. Try searching for an online mums group in your local area to see what comes up. The good thing about these larger groups is that they often run events for members to get together giving you the perfect opportunity to connect with other local mums. You could also join the Kid Magazine Mum Life group where we talk all things motherhood with mums from around the country.

At the end of the day, if you don’t find your tribe at your first mothers group meeting, don’t give up and don’t take it to heart. It has nothing to do with you or your baby and your tribe is waiting for you just around the corner.

Did you join a mothers group? Are you still friends? Or was it a big old fail?

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