There is something about having kids that can kill the mood a bit. Whether it is leaking boobs while breastfeeding, co-sleeping or kids playing musical beds, by the time you get to sexy time it is the last thing you feel like doing. And that’s if you can even keep your eyes open!

But we all know it’s important for every relationship to keep the intimacy alive. If this is you, finding that the romance is on hold but you want to reignite it, these tips on how to spice up your relationship are for you.

Be spontaneous

It’s probably been a while since you did anything spontaneous that didn’t involve changing a dirty nappy or chasing a child who has run away from you at the shops. So the idea of being spontaneous with your partner is laughable right? And it’s different to your pre-kids days but you can still have some element of surprise. Maybe it’s a cheeky text message during the day or  a note on your partners pillow with a sexy message. There are still ways to be spontaneous and add a little spice, even if opening the door in the nude is out of the question!

Introduce props

What do you think when you hear the words adult shop? Whips and chains? Seedy and tacky? A browse through an online adult shop such as Femplay* will reveal a playground of choices to spice things up in the bedroom. Maybe it’s massage oil or body paint or an adult board game or something a bit more adventurous. Have some fun shopping with your partner or buy something as a surprise – see above – be spontaneous!

Challenge yourselves

I’ve often read about couples who commit to a 30 day sex challenge. Yes that’s right, having sex every day for 30 days. The idea is that completing a challenge together is rewarding in itself but you are also making sex and your relationship a priority. You can google various versions of the challenge or make up your own by each of you setting the position for 15 of the days. If 30 days sounds a bit out there or you have a partner who travels, start with seven days and see how you go.

New lingerie

When I buy new lingerie it is usually more for me than my partner. Buy something that you feel comfortable and sexy in and you will exude sex appeal. And it doesn’t have to be all lace and suspenders either. A simple, classy matching set will have you feeling and looking hot! Maybe it’s time to ditch the old night shirt as well? A new comfortable (because let’s face it, no one has time for anything that isn’t 100% comfortable) nightie might also add a little spice into the bedroom. I love the range at Bendon* for simple yet sexy lingerie.

Get clever

Are you kids old enough to understand what you are talking about? Come up with some clever code that only you and your partner know to get around the kids! I read once about a couple who made it into a kind of game to see who could turn a sexy sentiment into a mundane sentence. If nothing else it’s a way to have a bit of fun with your partner!

If your relationship is need of a spring clean, Issue 31 of Kid Magazine includes an article with expert advice for making your relationship a priority plus 15 parent friendly date night ideas, no babysitter required.

What are your tips for spicing up your relationship?

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