Unless you have fallen pregnant after an unplanned night of wild passion, it is likely that the act of making a baby is the least sexy sex you have ever had. You approach it with the determination of a seagull flying towards hot chips on the beach, with a sole purpose in mind – making a baby. Sara Keli reveals four ways to keep the spark alive in your baby making romps!
Shift your focus from the outcome
When you are attached to the outcome of something, anything, whether it is trying to conceive a baby or getting a new job, it takes your focus away from the process, or anything else that is happening around you. By focusing on the outcome, you aren’t really in the moment. Sex is just a step in the process to achieving the outcome and that is terribly unsexy. And if it takes you a few months or even more to conceive, you can start to resent sex. While it is easier said than done to shift your focus away from the outcome, the reality is that if you are relaxed and enjoying the moment, it increases your chances of falling pregnant anyway.
Don’t make your sex life just about falling pregnant
If you are only having sex when you feel that familiar ovulation pain or you get that notification from your ovulation app to tell you that now is the time, that is a sure fire way to take the enjoyment and fun out of sex. Have sex in between your fertile times. Take it out of the bedroom into the shower, the couch or wherever the mood takes you. It’s not just about falling pregnant but about the connection between you as a couple and those intimate moments you share together.
Talk about how you are feeling
Once things are all out in the open it is easier to make changes for the better. Trying to conceive can be a stressful time but it isn’t something that either person in the relationship should be taking on alone. It takes two to tango, and certainly two to make a baby! But often women can feel like they are bearing the burden of falling pregnant alone. Talk to your partner about how you are feeling – share the stresses and the joys together and the weight will lift, allowing more space for you to enjoy the moment and keep the spark alive.
Remember that a baby changes everything
There is nothing like leaking breasts and hair that hasn’t been brushed in a week to make you feel like the un-sexiest version of yourself. When the baby arrives you will be sleep deprived, busier than you have ever been in your life and so much more tired than you ever expected. Opportunities for sex are not as available as they one were so enjoy the time before you do have a baby. Once you fall pregnant it really is a short nine months before they arrive and change your world forever.
Sara Keli is the Editor of Kid Magazine. When she isn’t writing, designing or creating, you can find her enjoying the sunshine on her back deck with her two daughters or escaping into a good book.